amazing but true

I can't make Rice Krispies Treats. They do not fall into the category of "if you can read, you can cook" recipes that I collect. There seems to be some technique required. Do you melt the butter before you add the marshmallows, or do you melt them all together? Do you add all the Rice Krispies at once,or do it slowly, like a lot of cookie recipes have you add flour? How do you avoid making a huge marshmallow covered in Rice Krispies, rolling around in 5 cups of extra cereal?

At some point, I have got to stop calling mom or Larry to help me with these sort of things.

This is what I need. I need recipes that say things like "start the timer", "use a 4 quart bowl or larger", "you will need a lot of room in your refrigerator for this", and "don't leave the house for 4 hours because this cake will be done in 30 minutes".

Am I really the only one like this? I'm not stupid. Not usually. But I can't make Rice Krispie treats. Or cut a watermelon.